The Importance of Listening to Your Own Needs
How often do you find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Whether it’s agreeing to a social event you’re dreading, taking on extra work when you’re already swamped, or simply ignoring the nagging feeling that you need rest, overriding your own needs can have serious consequences.
The truth is, constantly putting others before yourself isn’t just exhausting—it’s harmful to both your mental and physical health.
The Cost of Ignoring Your Needs
When you ignore your own needs, you set up an internal conflict that can lead to anxiety, resentment, and burnout. Physically, this conflict can manifest as tension, digestive issues, or even more serious health problems. Dr. Gabor Maté, a physician known for his work on stress and trauma, has linked chronic self-sacrifice to autoimmune diseases and other health issues. When you constantly override your body’s signals, you put yourself at risk of serious illness.
Why It's So Hard to Say No
Many of us struggle to say no because we’ve been conditioned to believe that self-sacrifice is a virtue. We fear that setting boundaries will make us appear selfish or uncaring, or that others will judge us for prioritising our own well-being. This cultural myth is not only untrue—it’s making us sick.
How Somatic Work Can Help
Somatic work is a powerful way to reconnect with your own needs and learn to prioritise them without guilt. By tuning into your body’s wisdom, you can become more attuned to when you’re overstepping your boundaries. Over time, you’ll build resilience against the pressure to please others at your own expense.
My Personal Experience
I’ve experienced the toll of self-sacrifice firsthand. While working in international development in Kenya, I was passionate about my work but ignored my own need for self-care. Eventually, I realised that I had been pushing myself too hard, leaving a part of me depleted and forgotten. It was a hard lesson, but an important one—one that taught me the necessity of honouring my own needs.
If you struggle to prioritise yourself, know that you’re not alone. And know that there’s a way to change. Somatic work can help you build a healthier relationship with yourself, one where your needs are just as important as those of others. It’s time to stop abandoning yourself and start living a life that honors your well-being.
